What you want is not what you want; or more precisely, what you desire is not what you require.
It is much harder to manipulate the satisfied person; as long as the perception remains that needs are not met, there is room for outside domination. Thus, one basis for interpersonal control rests upon the perception of internalized inadequacies; convince an individual that their qualities are insufficient for humanity and the fear of destruction can drive them to desperation, grasping at any supposed "cure" for their monstrous condition.
Cultivating the dearth of confidence needs to be coupled with the disdain for diversity; when only the proclaimed perfect are allotted the right to exist without derision and damage, the penalties for any deviation become accepted as just and desirable.
People embrace the pleasure of dismembering the defective, equating it with the privilege of dismantling the inanimate possessions that inhabit the lives of the acolytes of materialism. Things are made to be broken and discarded when they cease to suit the whims of the owner; and the humans that fall short of the social standards of sufficiency transmute into objects of reproach, whose proper place becomes the rubbish bin.
Such a terrifying fate leads many to allow any form of control, any contortion of self that prevents the devolution from human into manikin; allegiance to whomsoever promises protection from the ravages imposed upon the designated failures of humanity. Seeking security leads to the adoption of a more deadly peril; an identity divorced from reality, a continuous refashioning of self to suit the capricious demands doled out by the consumptive culture.
The pleasure of rending others replaces the joy of being one's self; the lack of said joy reduces individuals to automatons devoid of the ability to informed consent. Desire has destroyed what one requires.